Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Feeling a little out of sorts.

Did you know I'm Superwoman?  Amazing isn't it?

I hear frequently how "amazing" I am and how people don't know how I do what I do.  The thought going through my head is, "not very well."

I'm busy.  Not just 5 kids busy.  I'm church busy (I go and I'm VERY involved), homeschool busy (2 kids one with a vision issue that makes reading a nightmare), blackberry farmer busy (gas and a match and that problem could be gone-Hahaha), homemaker busy, computer addict busy, procrastinator busy.  

In all of my busyness I feel like I'm losing myself.  I don't do much for me anymore.  Getting a haircut is verging on impossible.  I only talk to a handful of friends (that I'm not related to).  Time away for me has become a solo trip to Wal-Mart.

What it really comes down to is I'm burned out.  Something has to change.  I need a hobby or something that is selfishly mine and I need to be okay with it.

Now for the hard part.  As of August my 2 oldest will go to public school instead of being homeschooled.  This has been one of the hardest decisions I've ever made.  I don't think this will be permanent, as of now I think it will only be for 1-2 years.  I need a break.  Don't get me wrong, I believe in homeschooling completely.  I have struggled teaching V, because of what we now know is a vision issue, not dyslexia.  Teaching her is like working with a very in depth 1st grader.  There is no, "Read the directions and do the assignment." or "Read this and we'll discuss it when you are done."

We are currently driving into Tulsa 2 times a week for vision therapy.  She will finish in late June.  We are seeing improvement, but through this I've lost me.  It's time to find me again.


Carina said...

Part of being superwoman is realizing when you need back-up. You're still 100% awesome in my books. =)

Jeremy said...

You'll always be a "super mom" in my books. Wow, you do do it all.

Pam Balentine said...

There is nothing wrong with being selfish sometimes. You give your kiddos above and beyond what most parents are able to, and I commend you for that. I believe you will find you can be a HAPPIER parent, spouse, daughter, friend etc. when you allow yourself some much deserved "me" time. You must protect yourself and your marriage, or you will not be able to be the parent desire. Go for it Sara! You won't be sorry.

Wai said...

I'd suggest taking up archery, but that can get very expensive...