Thursday, August 07, 2008

Feelings of Failure (UPDATED)

I love my kids, they are bright, energetic and funny. Right now I'm feeling like I've failed V. I have suspected for a little over a year that she might be dyslexic. I thought I would give it one more year (2nd grade) and I would see what I could do. The results were nothing. I had a friend who teaches come over and run a reading assessment with her yesterday and it really looks like she may be. It wasn't complete enough to be conclusive for that, but it was for her reading level (early 1st grade). This girl is a math wiz and she can't read. I have to help her read her word problems and then read them aloud for her to comprehend.

Why did I wait another year? So I could drill Sargent the right skills into her? So I could prove it was just inattentiveness?

I need to start a new school year and I'm not even sure what to do for her. I'm waiting on a call from the pediatrician for where to take her for a full evaluation. I just hope I don't screw this up too. I'm scared.


I was very emotional when I first wrote this. I'm still feeling emotional, those feelings are very real and clear. I just don't like being emotional. I must admit that I envy some of the genetic make-up of men. For the most part (there are always exceptions) men are logical as opposed to the emotional female (also exceptions are found). These are generalizations some people don't like, but it's life.

Right now I just don't have enough information. The calls I've made aren't producing fast enough solutions or information. Basically I'm in limbo and I'm wanting to act on the problem and I have no idea how. I don't know the severity of the problem. It's just enough to make me a basket case when I mix it with the mess that the house is in and the things I have to do.

I'll be back to my perky obnoxious self soon, right now I just need clarity.


Babystepper said...

I've always known V was a smart little girl. You could tell when she was tiny. And you are a good mom, too. Waiting to make sure was a smart move too.

It's not by any means too late to help her. Lots of people don't find out how that they even have dyslexia until much later.

I have every confidence in your ability to make the right decisions, even if you don't right now.

Wai said...

You are NOT a failure.
You are NOT a failure.
You are NOT a failure.