Cold Turkey

These are my friends.




I've never been what I would call a caffeine addict. The things that ramp people up, don't affect me much (B Vitamins, caffeine, energy drinks). I still consume them on occasion, but not for a "high". I've been known to go months without any. As of late I have noticed a large spike in my caffeine consumption and an over all increase in fatigue. I have 3 ideas as to what is wrong. Either I'm drinking way too much caffeine (yesterday 3 DP's, 2 cups of coffee and 2 rounds of an energy spray), or my thyroid is jacked again, or both. I've never been more then a 1-2 caffeinated beverages a day type person (when I have it at all). I'm not sure what's up. While I was pregnant with Jackson I had hyperthyroidism and was diagnosed with Graves Disease. It's been in remission since he was born. I'm off for my physical an yearly blood work up Friday. Hopefully if the problem is larger like my thyroid we'll find out. Regardless, I'm giving up the caffeine cold turkey for at least a month.

It's a shame, I have a new container of coffee and almost a full 24 pack of Dr. Pepper. *Sigh* It will be torment.

Okay, my over emotional rantings are over.

Back to your regularly scheduled program.



Okay, here's the current run down. We went to the optometrist yesterday. Her first 3 issues are that she is far sighted, has tracking issues on top of the spacial issues. Glasses are on order. Friday we begin a 10 week therapy with Debbie, Jackson's speech therapist, who had a severely dyslexic son. I also ordered a new curriculum for 1st grade for my 3rd grader for Language Arts only. Things aren't moving as fast as I would like, but the answers are coming.



This book has been great and I like this method of treatment.

Feelings of Failure (UPDATED)

I love my kids, they are bright, energetic and funny. Right now I'm feeling like I've failed V. I have suspected for a little over a year that she might be dyslexic. I thought I would give it one more year (2nd grade) and I would see what I could do. The results were nothing. I had a friend who teaches come over and run a reading assessment with her yesterday and it really looks like she may be. It wasn't complete enough to be conclusive for that, but it was for her reading level (early 1st grade). This girl is a math wiz and she can't read. I have to help her read her word problems and then read them aloud for her to comprehend.



Why did I wait another year? So I could drill Sargent the right skills into her? So I could prove it was just inattentiveness?



I need to start a new school year and I'm not even sure what to do for her. I'm waiting on a call from the pediatrician for where to take her for a full evaluation. I just hope I don't screw this up too. I'm scared.

(UPDATE)

I was very emotional when I first wrote this. I'm still feeling emotional, those feelings are very real and clear. I just don't like being emotional. I must admit that I envy some of the genetic make-up of men. For the most part (there are always exceptions) men are logical as opposed to the emotional female (also exceptions are found). These are generalizations some people don't like, but it's life.

Right now I just don't have enough information. The calls I've made aren't producing fast enough solutions or information. Basically I'm in limbo and I'm wanting to act on the problem and I have no idea how. I don't know the severity of the problem. It's just enough to make me a basket case when I mix it with the mess that the house is in and the things I have to do.

I'll be back to my perky obnoxious self soon, right now I just need clarity.

I'm home.

It's like we just moved again. There is much to unpack and be done. Our A/C was out so it was 90 degrees in the house when we got home. It was better the the 106 in the field. It was fixed yesterday (Thanks Pam!). I have much to say and not nearly enough pictures.

Alas, I have work to do so a bigger post must wait.

I Life on the farm.

We've moved (temporarily-4 to 5 weeks) to the blackberry farm 1 1/2 hours away. I will be home on the weekends to do laundry, mow and be the farmers market wench (that's my title-sad yes). I'll be back with tales from the farm (and maybe a bit of a tan).

Fair warning, there may be much discussion of sweat, blackberry kisses on my shorts from the twins, along with the fun of family dysfunction.

Stay tuned.

Bundles of joy!

I may slap whoever called children a bundle of joy. I think I'll come up with my own.

• Bundle of destruction.
• Bundle of back talk.
• Bundle of messiness.
• Bundle of superiority
• Bundle of deafness.
• Bundle on inattentiveness.
• Bundle of...well you get the picture.

God made them precious when they sleep so we forget the issues of the day and honestly think they are sweet angels, otherwise we might kill them.

DANCE!

I stumbled across this video and I was amazed.



Here is Matt's site.

I also enjoyed this one. I will have to try this the next time I am in a 2 story mall.



I want to make one of these!




Find more weird videos here.

Have a great day!

BTW Owen and Alex are 2 today. Pictures to come, I'll be honest I have no real party plans.

If this blog were my child...

...DHS would have taken it away for neglect.



Life around here is wild. I honestly know that I need to get back on the FLY Wagon. I need to prioritize how I accomplish things. I'm amazed at how far behind I have become. I'm frustrated and seeking peace, but calm is no where in sight. Life isn't bad, just full.



June began with V having tennis lessons at the Country Club. She followed that up with a week at Grandma's, her 8th birthday (yes you read that right, my baby is 8), her 8th birthday party and now church camp. Her mini golf party was changed to a bowling party, b/c of rain (that didn't come). She got a Wii, and is kicking my butt at bowling. She's been spoiled by my mom and my sisters and is driving me crazy (that's not new). She's flown the nest twice this month.



I'm not sure where the time has gone, but I'd like to know. How can this child that evokes such a broad range of strong emotions in me be so much the same and so different from the day she was born? When J was in college he would sit cross legged on the floor and she would sleep in his lap while he leaned over her doing his school work. She lived a college students life under the age of 2. Wal-Mart trips in the middle of the night, sleeping in university buildings while dad worked on projects, and sleeping the weird schedule of somewhere in the middle of the night until noon. Now she's tall (to me short to a lot her age), skinny, beautiful (that she has always been) and very emotional. I fear for the encroaching teenage years. Where has my baby gone and how did she get replaced by this young lady?

This picture was taken in March, she looks totally different now.

Jackson may be the death of me. I've called poison control twice in the last week. Once for drinking Benedryl, the other for eating chewable Tylenol. I left the Benedryl in the cabinet. That is my fault. The Tylenol, he climbed for. He cut a power supply this week (while it was plugged in). I received the technical description of, "It sparked and went boom." I've busted him lighting matches (thankfully it was just to blow them out). I've had to go as far as keep him strapped to me and I've had to confine him to his room for a few hours.

The babies turn 2 Friday. Ya, you don't have to tell me, they can't be that old. That's been my thought, but I'm wrong, they can be. We moved them to a bed this week. The transition has been good. This is really late for us to change from a crib to a twin bed (the others were moved to twin beds at 18 months). They are more like little men every day. They speak more, but usually to each other in twin talk (their own language) every once in a while I pick up a work or two, but that's it.

I know long in the past I mentioned the blackberries. Well, the crop is ripe and I start working at the Farmer's market Saturday morning. Last night was the 1st market where we have sold and they sold 55 quarts. Every single bit of blackberry ripe in the field.

I hope this finds you all well, have a great week.

Why can't I find what I want at my price?

Why?

It's not life or death, but I'm picky and that is causing a problem. I haven't played much tennis since I quit the team in high school. My dad bought my racquet for me and it wasn't what I was comfortable playing with (110" over-sized, 4 1/4" grip, titanium, by Wilson). At practice the coach and I both discussed the racquet and she had an extra I used when I could (95-100", 4 5/8" grip). That racquet was heavier, but more comfortable. I still have my old 110 and I don't play, because the grip is small and makes for sloppiness and I have an accurate hit so the over-sized head just seems clumsy.

V is taking tennis lessons at a friends invitation at the Country Club (I've never been to a Country Club in my life). She's excited. I'm excited. The bad thing is I got my racquet down and dusted it off and now I really want to replace it. I received it for my 15th birthday almost 15 years ago. I feel like it's time to get what I'm comfortable with, but here is the delima. I'm just not comfortable with the prices. If I was going to play weekly or was on a tennis team the expense would be no big deal. I just want the size I am comfortable with at the "Wal-Mart - Target" price. Do they have what I want? No, I can't even find above a 4 1/2" grip even in men's racquets. All racquets are over-sized or are lacking in details of length, weight and size.

Does anyone have any suggestions? I did think to look at used racquets on ebay. I picked one that had no bids and started at $.99. It was a used 95 and it went for $124. Ouch! My birthday is in August, but I was really wanting to buy the start up kit to do stained glass and that's a chunk of change.

Who says bribery is all bad?

Okay, as I posted last week nothing was broken. He didn't really walk until yesterday (if a Tiny Tim hobble can be called a walk). His range of motion is fine with his leg, it's just putting weight on it that is a problem. Since his range of motion is fine it's not a soft tissue injury (or at least not a major one). If he didn't walk they probably would have called for an MRI, so I used bribery yesterday and offered him a toy if he would try walking without holding onto anything. He did and he got a water gun. Ya, it's a bad example to set, but I didn't want to pay for an MRI that wasn't needed.

We went back to the doctor yesterday. He watched him walk and checked everything, there has been no swelling. His diagnosis was that we probably have a bone bruise. This can be found on an MRI, but nothing can be done for it, except to wait for it to heal. He said to let him crawl, scoot or hobble however he wants, but if he isn't better in 2 weeks (3 weeks from the injury) to come back in.

We are very thankful and we appreciate your prayers.

The first casualty

We had the first major injury on the trampoline Monday night. Jackson got bounced very high and landed bad. He hasn't walked since. We've been to the ER and the pediatrician, there have been 4 x-rays, and a lot of ice cream involved. If he doesn't try to bear weight by Thursday and Friday I have to take him back. He either pulled something really bad or tweaked his knee. I'll keep you posted. My guess will be that our next option is an MRI. I hope he walks soon. His attempt last night involved him crumbled on the floor of the bathroom crying. He is carried, pushed in the stroller or he scoots on his rear end. He is going to attempt swimming today at the Y.

Shock to the system

My recent post on change came to mind again Friday.

Our family was headed to Norman. J and I were dropping the kids off at mom's to go to the OCHEC Convention in OKC to buy next years homeschooling curriculum. Traffic was backed up on I-35, so we decided to go west just north of the zoo and to make a detour by our old house , which we hadn't done in over a year. As we approached our house on NW 15th St. we saw a blue port-a-potty in the yard.

As we rolled past we saw that the house was gutted to the studs. We looped back and pulled into the drive. We asked the men working on it if we could step in and that we had lived there. The only thing left was the stair banister and stud walls. Our gorgeous burled oak floors were gone.

There had been an electrical fire in the kitchen this winter. My mom had said there was a fire on our old street, but she said it was the house on the corner that resembled ours. She was wrong it was ours. It was hard to see. We didn't let V in, we knew she would cry. We opted not to take pictures, the images are etched in our brains.

It was sad to see our work gone, but we know they will have a house that is just what they want.

I don't watch TV much...

... I haven't watched AI more then twice since season 1, but last night...

...NEIL DIAMOND...

...was on the show.

Yep, I've been warped by my mother, I really do like his music. He may not have the greatest voice, but his music is infectious and his band is great.

I wish I'd watched last night. When I called to tell Jonathan what we missed (he's a closet fan), he told me that ND would be in concert in Tulsa in October. Sadly I won't be going at $100-$600 a ticket my frugleness takes over. Bummer.

Why is change so hard?

I know we live in an instant gratification society. We all want it like Burger King (our way) and we all want it now. I'll be honest there are many things I would like to change about myself, unfortunately I'm a little too Scarlet O'Hara (Gone With the Wind), and I'll think about it tomorrow.

Change comes in many forms and for many reasons. There is the sudden change. Often it comes unexpectedly. There is no preparation, just BAM! There you have it. We have to adjust and attempt to reconcile what has happened and move on immediately.

There is uncertain change. You have several avenues with which your life can travel. There is time and thought and a process. The outcome still has the unexpected, but it's the process of getting to the outcome that seems to be the hardest.

Long term change requires perseverance and time. The outcome is kind of known, but whether we stay the course is the uncertain part.

This has been on my mind for a little while. I've been thinking of the many faces of change. Changes I've wanted that have never come. Changes I question.

Reading Tiffany's blog and then thinking of the fire scares in my own neighborhood this week really brought sudden change to my mind. As I sat in my house without power I thought of things, like what do I take if there is a fire? My mind came up with nothing, except my kids, my camera, my car keys and the dog. Then what? I don't know, I hope I never do.

These past couple of months have been weird at J's office. Changes people "knew" would happen did and didn't happen. More changes will happen. Then what? I'm not sure and I'm not going into anymore detail until that time. Right now I just wish I knew. If life is going to take a different direction I just would like to know what it is, so we can get on with it. I'm sooo impatient.

My thought on long term change are simple. Why am I so lazy that I never change? I've been blessed in many ways. I've broken habits, but I've held on to many. I fortunately don't have to try to have the figure I have, but I feel unhealthy (sluggish, cranky, tired). My attitude stinks, my prayer time is unfocused, I have an Internet addiction (ya, so why am I on here). I lack consistency. I'm afraid to fail. If I don't see that I will succeed I just roll over before I begin.

The one thing that I know is constant in the face of all change is God. I've got to step up to the plate and make the change to hand my uncertainties over to him. Will I do it? In this situation I can honestly say, "God only knows." Yep, he's the only one who knows what changes abound in my life.

I just wish change was easier.

Alone

It is 8:20PM (ish) and I am alone downstairs. I have had a day, not good or bad, just a day. Mildly frustrating and mildly joyful until the last 30 minutes. I finally snapped and sent the older 2 kids to bed, at the same time as the twins, for just not following directions and arguing with me. J is on his way home from the blackberries. I decide I needed a break and bedtime was it.

I am now relishing the peace and quiet. I'm having a late dinner alone and a small glass of wine.

Watch out there may be more thoughts to come in the silence.

1979 Triumph Spitfire 1500

This will be Jonathan's car for driving to work and to the acre of blackberries we have 1 1/2 hours away. He made 2 trip to his parents land, to the berries, and I made one trip to Norman and our auto gas budget increased waaaay too much. This vehicle gets about 30 mpg.

We bought it off of ebay from a guy in T-town. He was working on it and has all of the parts (several newly machined) it just requires final assembly, it also has a hardtop that needs new seals. J's mom has a Spitfire also, so he's used to working on them. It's definitely easier then the Lincoln. This car will also retain some value (unlike most other cars we've had) and it's cheap to fix.

Jonathan feels like he's starting a classic car collection, because he already has a 1954 Pontiac Chieftain.

The auction was exciting, we had power issues on our street yesterday (blown transformers, 3 fire tucks, neighbors trees being cut down by PSO, calling neighbors at work to give messages from firefighters). I had power in spite of the issues in the alley, until 10 minutes before the auction ended. The power company cut it all off and I had to call Jonathan at work to finish the auction. My heart was pounding.

After the auction ended I was shutting breakers off at neighbors houses. The Art Gallery across the street had all of it's wiring fried and had smoke, but no fire damage. The firefighters were afraid when the power company turned the power back on that we may have more of that happen. I was supplying what I could when the power came back up to help them cover the gallery door. They had to bust out the glass, so I was running my extension cord and drill over to help them get the plywood on to cover it.

About 3:15pm I was walking out of my neighbors house when their 12 year old walked up. His dad told me where the spare key was and I unplugged their TV and computer and I turned their power off. I had just finished slowly turning their power back on (and going over and doing a smell and fire detector check). The funny thing was his lack of concern of me coming out of the house. He was totally disappointment he missed the fire trucks. I guess even 6th grade boys like fire trucks and excitement.

Check out Jonathan's new (used) car.

We get it this weekend. Awwww, YEAH!

BTW

I cut off my hair. I know what you're thinking..."What hair?" Well, chin length is long for me and I've been good and It's been longer then that for over 4 years. Tuesday it left. I forgot how much I missed short (really short) hair. Since just before Easter weekend I have cut Jackson, V's and the twins (for the first time).

Jennifer you're right I need more pictures. I will try to remedy that soon. Unfortunately I'm too busy (or lazy) to right now. Actually right now it is busy, most days it's lazy though.

I did the great meat buy yesterday, so I have to prep and freeze it all and make a birthday cake for a friend. The cake will be eaten here after a trip into T-town to the Olive Garden, so we have to clean (I'm in big trouble). I also am putting the final coat of varnish on V's floor today (so J can finish her walls and I can paint). I'm the lighting designer for an event called The Show of Hands (sign language to Broadway songs). Dress rehearsal is tonight with a show Saturday night (after Olive Garden) and Sunday afternoon.

No, I'm not normally this busy, I'm just in that moment that hits every so often right now.

I must renew my library books now and get back to work.

Have a great weekend!

Auditions

Okay, so V's music showed up Monday...late. She spent Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday learning her song. She sang "You're Never Fully Dressed Without a Smile" from ANNIE. She could sing and act and smile as long as she didn't have the music on. Once she had the music her timing was good if she didn't smile or move. If I told her to smile it looked like she was smelling socks or she sang too fast.

Some how in spite of that she got a call back Saturday. She must have gotten into her groove under pressure. I wasn't in her audition, I don't know.

V, the twins and I missed the auction and she was at call backs for over 3 hours Saturday afternoon. After, we went to Yale to pick up Jonathan and Jackson (they went to the auction and took his parents Tahoe back).

We waited until Monday for the cast list to post and....she didn't make the show.

I was more nervous then she was. She was not at all bummed. She had fun auditioning and doing call backs and that was enough (she's a bigger person then I am). Jonathan didn't want her to get into the show and then he was bummed she didn't make it.

I'm just really proud of her hard work and good attitude.

So, I've been in hidding.

Not really, but I'm a bit behind on my posts.

Jonathan turned the big 3-1 today. I made steak, scalloped potatoes and New York Style cheesecake to soften the blow.

We went to Norman (Friday through Sunday) to visit family and we went to Bristow Wednesday to visit friends.

V is auditioning for High School Musical tomorrow.

I got new glasses (red horn rimmed, so groovy) last Monday.

V's floor is almost done. I bought bedding, now I need to make or buy curtains. Then we are down to paint and trim. YIPEE!!

Both babies are fussy (I blame more teeth or allergies).

We are going to the OSU surplus auction Saturday morning.

I've also tired to figure out how to start making stained glass "art". I'm not artistic, but I have a need for a few pieces and I think I can do it (there are tons of books with patterns). We'll see.

I also messed up or pulled something in my back. I'm a little sore during the day (no big deal), but it hurts beyond belief at night and it's making sleep hard (I pulled off the bottom sheet I tossed so much last night). Feeling like I can function during the day has made me think I don't need to go to the doctor. It's been about a week, I hope it goes away on its own soon.

So, how are you?